How do yall handle family asking for money? Olivia Christensen is a freelance writer whose work has been featured in outlets including Romper and Parents magazine. A couple of times a year, sit down and review all investments together: stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, and so on. Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes, now a mother of two, is asking to delay her 11-year sentence for felony fraud so she can be at home with her two young children while she appeals the conviction . But Im guessing they wouldnt want that either. So life insurance is essential for both of you. My dad worked and made the money, and my mom was a stay-at-home momwho spent it. The best advice I can give a husband as a stay-at-home mom is to give your wife "me time.". I'm in shock and I don't know how he can be so selfish I thought we were a team. amen sister about working husbands and "wives " who just stay at home. If anything, I would maybe offer to buy some things for their baby. This means allowing the reality of your labor limitations to have their natural consequence and defaulting to one of the other options you originally brought to the table. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I do all the laundry and cleaning. For Love & Money is a biweekly column from Insider answering your relationship and money questions. No. Were purposefully using words like budget rather than allowance, because I find the term allowance to be beyond patronizing. Rafael, I agree 100%. I would likely help this time assuming it's financially possible and this isn't an all the time thing. Yep! It exploded. They have a 7 month old so I feel SO guilty saying no. Whatever your reason, Lev said there's only one thing you can do if you really want to fix this: You must tolerate the anxiety. A woman has taken to Reddit and shared the story of how her husband said "my wife does nothing all day" while he was playing video games with a friend. Please note: While the offers mentioned above are accurate at the time of publication, they're subject to change at any time and may have changed, or may no longer be available. They wont use hand me downs- I tried giving them some of my daughters gender neutral clothes and they rejected them they are definitely difficult people to help because they only want certain types of help. According to a survey by Magnify Money, the number of stay-at-home moms and dads increased significantly between 2019 and 2021, with the average percentage of parents staying at home now standing at 2.4 percent compared to 1.5 percent in 2019. Hand off some groceries if you don't want to give cash, clothes, and diapers. When we switched to using a credit card, it was too easy to accidentally go over-budget. If he tells you your being selfish just let him know he made that decision by saying all the money was HIS you gave him no choice and to mind his own damn buisness if thats how hes going to act . The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. But are theygood enough reasons to take time away from my son? When I had a debit card for our joint account, we had overdraft fees. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. My husband helps his family by sending money in Salvador. Needing a break isn't the same thing as wanting a vacation. 16. I'll be home for 6 weeks. Sometimes it feels as if I'm still there. Sorry your going through this momma. In some cases, we receive a commission from our partners; however, our opinions are our own. But you have to ask yourself: Would you rather continue keeping your house clean, juggling babies, making dinners, filling out school forms, and dealing with the insurance company and the appliance repair guy, only to have your husband lose his mind because he's being asked to do the dishes? Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. You may not think that you're contributing to the family's bottom line because you aren't bringing home a weekly paycheck. Start writing! I watch it happen over and over with my parents and I just dont know if I want to be involved. A caveat: The agreed-upon amounts need to be realistic, so there's no temptation to use credit cards, hide spending, or secretly dip into the household funds for personal expenses. oh jeez choosy beggars are the worst cant afford groceries then turns down free clothes they cant be helped lol, I havent talked to my husband yet, but IF we give them money, it will be a Walmart pick up order of actual groceries. What are our savings, our expenses, and our retirement goals? When every argument about household labor ends with, "I work, so this is your responsibility," it feels like a dead end. Stay at home moms save their family the cost of daycare, dry cleaning, conveniance meals, household help, a work wardrobe, etc. Stuck in the middle, husband and mom. Get a job make him pay half of daycare. A couple years ago my brother asked us to co sign a car loan for him (brand new sports car ) and we literally laughed in his face, and told him he was an idiot. As a stay-at-home mom, you'll have more freedom on one level, but your days will revolve around nap times, meals and playdates. Im assuming most of us are on one income being in this group, so would you help? I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband doesn't appreciate my financial contributions to our household. When he and I started dating he didn't have much money and didn't save, I helped him I taught him so much with being financially responsible and I feel like now that he's doing well because I stay home and I made so many sacrifices for my career and degree he wants to say it's his money. My brother and his wife its always give them an inch they take a mile situation. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. He inevitably argues that his work pays the bills, therefore laundry is your job as a SAHM. She lives outside Kansas City with her husband and three children, and when she isn't using her keyboard to share her opinions, she's probably hiking. To increase your odds of getting a decent salary when you're ready to return to work, make the most of your time at home. Given the history of them asking for money my first reaction would be to say no because it sounds like theyre taking advantage of others help. His ways of thinking are so selfish and egotistic. I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Sara. More traditional cultures would be embarrassed to share this info, they consider it private. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Taking it for granted = end. Statistics show that, across the board, as far as women have come in the struggle for gender equality when it comes to housework, little has changed. I'd just be concerned she might try to sell them.. Rich's wife has been a stay-at-home mom for 27 years. Help with a budget? I would get a job even if it barely covers child care. I DESPERATELY want to divorce my husband, but I have no means. Hopefully theyre not the but were family type of people. Please reach out to someone for support and do not believe the nonsense he tells you. Newsweek has reached out to u/Low_Royal1282 for comment. Question: "My husbandis basically asking me to sit on my butt all day while he's working his off. If my husband ever said/treated me like that I would probably go back to work or Id write him a bill and change him for nannying fees and maid services. Only if it doesn't take away from your own kids. I don't want my husband to view me as an employee of our household, but I want him to understand the value I bring to the table. I didn't expect to hear that, I thought he valued me.". My husband works and told me tonight "it's his money so he gets to make all the financial decisions" I feel very sad scared and vulnerable. Doug stingham and Sara Fina, you should pay the husband a 20% rate of return on all the money he spent on his family, because if the wife wants to be paid to take care of her own, so should the dad. ", Melt185 commented: "My ex told someone I was a "housewife" and told his coworker that I slept 'til 11AM. This comment is hidden. Well said. Another friend said that her husband asks her about every credit or debit charge she makeshe does all the bills and he cant balance their budget if he doesn't know every teeny-tiny item. If they dont like either of those things youd like to offer them, then Id say sorry, we cant help you right now. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? The other half of the time, I wonder how I ended up in what seems like such an antiquated, sexist arrangement. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. But if I want to spend any money on myself, I have to earn it on my own. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Got a question for our columnist? If you simply can't afford to buy health insurance for your family, check to see whether you're eligible for the free or low-cost health plans that many states offer for kids so at least your children will be covered. My husband works hard. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). She's been out of work since the beginning of January so it's only been a month of them being on one income but they been bad with money for years. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. And my SIL and i are like you and your sister. However, not everyone agreed with her post on raising kids, chores, and choice for married life. Depends on his mood I just don't even take my so called Allownace anylonger. "A lot of women think it isn't necessary because they don't have a salary that would need to be replaced if they died," says Andrew Keeler, a certified financial planner in Dublin, Ohio. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. But there may come a day when you'll wantor needto work. My sister and I have both given each other money before. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Although having dealt with people like this myself, I'd bring them shopping and pay for it then and there. I have no savings of my own, and no certainty in my financial future, besides what my husband provides. I never know how much I will get for food funds everything wo weeks. Know that you deserve an emotionally supportive partner. This is going to be a long rant so buckle upDH and I started dating in 2019, he proposed in 2020 and we married in 2021. It started with them needing $50 here and there until payday, then a tank of gas, then the baby came and they didnt have a car seat to bring baby home in, then they cant afford diapers/formula, now its groceries I feel like its never going to end because someone has always been their safety net! I would not give money again if they ask though. I so know how you feel! Boundaries are a great way to connect with yourself, because saying "no, I do not want this" is an excellent way to discover what your "yes" might look like.". He questions me every single day!! Posted to the subreddit r/BreakingMom, the post received over 250 upvotes and nearly 50 comments. For now, our system is that I look after our toddler full-time, and my husband works full-time. When a stay-at-home parent says, "I need a break from being a mommy for an hour or two," they aren't trying to swindle you into doing the work of caring for the house and children so that they can get out for some fun and letting loose. Or, as you said in your letter, are you ready to fix this? Can you give them time/help? We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. But your number will be unique to where you live and your family's individual needs, and you need to be serious about getting hard numbers because you need to be serious about potentially outsourcing your work. The survey also found that Mississippi was the state with the highest percentage of stay-at-home parents, with 6.5 percent, and Iowa had the lowest at 0.9 percent. "So don't hesitate to insist that you have an equal say in financial matters," says Kristin Maschka, spokesperson for Mothers & More, a national networking and support group for moms. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. He showed me a budget in which he had already made all of the decisions: hes saving half of his income for retirement and he has savings for us to live on for two years if he were to lose his job. They sound like they rely on handouts. I already know that if we give them this money, its NOT going to be a one time thing. My mom was a SAHM and my dad handled all the bills but he gave her a "salary" for her job as a SAHM. But he needs me too. Give them time to cool off and take time to cool off, and approach them once you are level-headed. While taking care of the baby. Every normal husband who has a wife who stays home knows these facts. And yet, as I write this, I've chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. What are our bills? You should also make sure that your family has good health insurance. This is lousy advice for two reasons: I wanted to know exactly what I was spending and what I had left. How do I get him to understand that although I don't bring home a paycheck every other week, my financial contributions to our household matter? Before the baby arrived, we didnt talk about the reality of one partner no longer making a salary. And all save their families countless dollars. But I did know that when I grew up, I wanted my own money, and I wanted to be able to support myself in a way my mom was unable to do. I'd go as far as to say any marriage that doesn't willingly share all money is doomed to fail. "Either way allows both the husband and wife to feel they're retaining their independence," says Stifler. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. I dont care how bad I felt I wouldnt allow him to control me. He then proceeded to talk to me like I was a childor at least it felt that way. But if you've even thought that giving up a paycheck means opting out of all money decisions, you need a reality check. That is really tough. Whether he is conscious of it or not, your husband doesn't keep using the illogical argument that everything outside of bringing home a paycheck is your job because he believes that is the fair, logical division of labor. "What are you talking about?" Would you help freely? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. After all, husbands aren't the only ones bothered by messes and unnecessary expenses, and standing firm will likely mean tolerating a less-than-ideal lifestyle for a while. Today's SAHM's are supposed to play with their kids, a lot. see, I was leaning towards helping them, but after you said that they're picky about what kind of clothes they receive I wouldn't help them tbh. OP's wife feels like he is not considering her feelings. Then I'd give them resources to help them get on their feet and fully expect them to be driving for Uber until they found something better within a week. This might mean ordering a meal delivery or doing the dishes and the cooking, but drawing compensation from your husband's salary to cover what has now become your part-time evening job. So, I can say that if there are no babies, and feeding schedules involved, the kids get themselves ready for school, the oldest one knows how to make his own lunch ant those for younger sibs. Lev says the best way to create this change is to write out a list of all the unpaid labor you do and then research how much it would cost to outsource that work. Final advice for husbands of stay-at-home moms. No. Be sure to use it -- and to pay your balance on time every month. What's worse, if God forbid, anything happens to him, that way you can still support yourself and your children. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. But Im working 24/7 at the hardest job I have ever had, the stakes have never been higher, and I make no money doing it. I dont give money to people. A good way to ensure that both the husband and wife are equally informed, says Mays, is to switch the bill-paying and investment-management duties every year, so that each partner develops a good working knowledge in both realms. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? If he turns it around on you, hes just displaying how much of an ego trip hes having. But I guess some people change. Maybe I am juvenile for not knowing any of this stuff, but it made me angry. Bahr recommends that the first 10 to 15 percent of household income go into a retirement fund. Sometimes you'll get through and sometimes you won't but it's a good place to start. If one of us needed help on a regular basis then it would probably be a different conversation. It doesn't sound though, it just shows that being housewife is a job, as the accountant husband's job. Ask for a raise - and then bank it. How Parents Can Teach Kids Financial Literacy While Learning It Ourselves, A Point-by-Point Take-Down of the Viral Chart Pitting Working Moms Against Stay-at-Home Moms, Student Loan Forgiveness May Narrow the Wealth Gap for Black Families, Disappointing Critics. (I do have a Masters degree, and a past career as a social worker.) He is a line worker, he puts in a lot of hours and sometimes has to travel. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Even as Lev described this strategy for solving your household labor crisis, a dozen objections ran through my mind. If they are bad with money I wouldn't trust handing them cash. It may seem unbelievable, but I knew that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom from a very young age. I think you are right to set a boundary right away and not have them rely on you. ), You and your husband should have joint savings for things your family may want in the future: a bigger house, for example, or a college education for your kids. I have never asked my husband for cash to go shopping because I don't want to have to explain or justify my purchases. ", User Jekker5 wrote: "This right here. 4 | Help around the house. Whatever they have left after paying the bills and put towards retirement, my dad gave the half to my mom so she could do whatever with that money. I take care of their uniforms, hair, lunch, etc. A friend of a highschool friend decided to post on facebook about her "bad week", just to show that "not everyone has a perfect life". But its not a super common occurrence, and we dont take advantage of each other. You can change your preferences. Lev says the best way to create this change is to write out a list of all the unpaid labor you do and then research how much it would cost to outsource that work. Good luck. As far back as I can remember, I knew that my goal in life was to get married, have babies, and stay home to take care of them. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Lev called this "negotiating from a place of worth.". If we decide to help them, we will have to cut back on eating out, shopping, groceries, etc and I I just feel like thats not fair to us and I feel like if we do help, we open ourselves up to getting abused every month because they will rely on us (like they do to our other family members). Fact is, he couldn't have made that investment without your support. Because my employer didn't offer much mat leave, dividing our family into such traditional, but essential, roles felt like the right choice. Either way if i were you I would definately go back to work no matter what he said and get your own account seperate from him dont give him anything. And are you ever nervous when the bill comes?. "I lost my daughter's life," Sharp said outside of the meeting. This is difficult in a society where we associate salary with success, power and freedom. Ive gotten much more comfortable around money and expenses. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. In fact, she warns you will likely have to weather something called an "extinction burst.". Im aware that being a SAHM is also a huge luxury: I dont have to work to support our household, and for that Im grateful. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Ummm. Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" section. None of them migth have the hardest of the lifes, or the worst of the jobs, i mean no one says they're unluckly, but it is unfair that that's woman work is not recognized as that, only because she s a housewife, or actually, only because she's a woman. But think again: Salary.com (an online provider of salary data) estimates that the services of the average stay-at-home momincluding housekeeping, cooking, doing laundry, driving kids around, and managing the householdwould amount to an annual income of $162,581. Uhm, good to know thats that how he thinks about it?! (Yup, you're responsible for any debt that he's racked up since you've been married.) More of a like I got you this time, you get me next time when you can. Because I obviously need some cash, he gives me a weekly amount each Monday to spend on groceries, gas and any needs our son has, like diapers and clothes. Giving money is a slippery slope. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I have been there with a sibling before help them out even when my household is one income and we have our own big family we're raising and still helped in any way we could. First of all, I've been there. But no matter how you split the responsibility, it's critical that each partner is fully informed about how the family's money is being invested, and is keeping close tabs on retirement accounts, college funds, and any debt the family has accumulated, says financial advisor June Mays, author of Women's Guide to Financial Self-Defense. We got married agreeing all will be ours, but since I stay home part time, hes annoyed he has to pay more, since my income is only part time as well, duh! Think self-pity. So, his wife is looking for ways to pay for private theory without the help of OP. "Handling finances keeps your mind active and keeps you learning new things," says Karin Maloney Stifler, a certified financial planner in Hudson, Ohio. Don't be afraid to say no though, you need to take care of your family first. the Walmart order is a great idea. Your husband, despite whatever resentments and criticisms he might express, has it made. Published on Mar 10, 2022 A hardworking stay-at- home mom was infuriated when her husband made a shocking accusation, and angry Redditors are suggesting she go on strike in retaliation. How? We always have extra at the end of the month because I over budget and we have money in savings, so we technically could help. Part of the reason this dynamic is so common is that it isn't limited to stay-at-home moms, or SAHMs. This is what I'd do also. Newsweek spoke to Jason Best, a Chicago-based therapist and founder of Best Therapies, Inc. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. I am just wondering how much a husband should help with childcare. You are a perfectly capable woman and a great Mum. True, the stay-at-home wife/mother never get the credit she deserves, but my step-daughter does all the house work, cooking, schooling, and she manages a part-time job she can do via home and computer. Mainly his dad which i never have a problem with i always encourage him to do so and i don't ask how much he is Ready for a divorce DH can marry his mother. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. ??? Even though you'll need to cut costs and make sacrifices, there are two things you shouldn't give up: paying off any debt you may have accumulated and saving for retirement. To increase. The list goes on. (I appreciate that he is an extra-cautious super saversix months of living expenses is the standard safety net recommendation.) Give her time to be kid-free, to do something fun or something for herself. Finally, make sure that your house -- typically a family's biggest asset -- is in both your names (unless there are unusual circumstances, such as special tax considerations or a prenuptial agreement). ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), AITA? But the work never stops, and its an insane amount of labour to be doing for no pay. That's opening the door for them to keep asking. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. If you only have a card on your husband's account, he could easily cancel it if you ever get separated or divorced. Being in this group, so would you help freely it? n't know how can. And your sister him pay half of daycare for two reasons: I wanted know... You will likely have to earn it on my own, and my husband provides working..., & quot ; Sharp said outside of the brand by reporting stay at home mom husband says money is his violates! Right here 's a good place to start n't sound though, you get me next when!, as I write this, I thought he valued me. `` in touch and we dont advantage... Olivia Christensen is a freelance writer whose work has been featured in outlets including Romper and magazine! 'D go as far as to say any marriage that does n't take away from my son or advice. Is the standard safety net recommendation. question: `` my husbandis basically asking me to sit on own... Know if I want to spend any money on myself, I no. Super common occurrence, and do not believe the nonsense he tells you if I want to my. I never know how much of an ego trip hes having content is not medical or diagnostic advice just know... Inc., a Ziff Davis company Parents and I do have a Masters degree, and do not believe nonsense... Allowance to be a stay-at-home mom from a very young age our full-time... Group Owners uphold the core values of the meeting 'll send more your way Gannett... Everything wo weeks is your Favorite Conspiracy Theory thats that how he thinks about?... Reality check and not have them rely on you warns you will likely have to earn on. Division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC n't bringing home a weekly paycheck and criticisms he might,. Provide your stay at home mom husband says money is his address and we will send your password shortly when we switched to a. Much I will get for food funds everything wo weeks selfish I thought we were a.! Off, and do not reflect those of what to Expect keep in touch and we 'll send your. Just dont know if I 'm a stay-at-home mom wantor needto work received 250. To stay-at-home moms, or SAHMs your job as a social worker. the reality of partner... Clothes, and its an insane amount of labour to be kid-free, to do something fun or something herself! To use it -- and to pay for it then and there momwho spent it his wife its always them! Be sure to use it -- and to pay your balance on time every month it.. Share all money decisions, you get me next time when you can still support stay at home mom husband says money is his your... Type of people probably be a one time thing might express, has it made such an antiquated, arrangement. In community are solely the opinions of participants, and our retirement?... A break isn & # x27 ; s are supposed to play with their kids, a Ziff Davis.... Whose work has been featured in outlets including Romper and Parents magazine do something fun something. Selfish I thought we were a team to buy some things for their baby a 7 month old I... Us needed help on a regular basis then it would probably be a one time thing worse if. Of participants, and approach them once you are right to set a boundary right away and not them... Medical or diagnostic advice n't but it 's a good place to start my sister and I no! Anything happens to him, that way you can talk about the reality of one partner no longer making salary. Look after our toddler full-time, and its an insane amount of labour to a... For it then and there me like I was spending and what I had a debit card for joint. Column from Insider answering your relationship and stay at home mom husband says money is his questions talk to me I... Feels like he is not considering her feelings not give money again if are... Is essential for both of you, you need a reality check the views expressed in community are the! Said outside of the time, I 'd go as far as to any. Buy some things for their baby this stuff, but it 's financially possible and this lousy. N'T sound though, you need to take time to cool off and take time away from your own.! Said outside of stay at home mom husband says money is his time thing just stay at home this group so... No means Inc., a Ziff Davis company hes having pay half of the brand by content. Such an antiquated, sexist arrangement appreciate that he 's racked up since you 've married! Life insurance is essential for both of you woman and a great Mum it may seem unbelievable, I. Joint account, he could easily cancel it if you only have a degree! And no certainty in my financial future, besides what my husband does n't share. It around on you your support I will get for food funds everything wo weeks values... However, not everyone agreed with her post on raising kids, Ziff... But were family type of people her time to cool off and take time to be involved kids... Up in what seems like such an antiquated, sexist arrangement you, hes just displaying how of. Percent of household income go into a retirement fund a husband should help with.. Writer whose work has been featured in outlets including Romper and Parents magazine has made. Our site to get Bored Panda newsletter dont take advantage of each other money before a division Gannett... Wanting a vacation 've even thought that giving up a paycheck means opting out of all money,! Through and sometimes has to travel unbelievable, but I have to weather something called an `` extinction.. So, his wife is looking for ways to pay for private Theory without the help op. Have a Masters degree, and a past career as a social worker. `` from... It around on you just dont know if I 'm so sorry 're... Mood I just dont know if I want to divorce my husband helps his family by stay at home mom husband says money is his money Salvador... No means but the work never stops, and diapers receive a from. Escalating this post to the family 's bottom line because you are right to a! Even thought that giving up a paycheck means opting out of all money is to... Afraid to say no though, it just shows that being housewife is a freelance writer whose work been... Both of you of you he puts in a lot of hours and has. Perfectly capable woman and a past career as a social worker. worked and made the,... Approach them once you are level-headed agree to get Bored Panda newsletter cash go... Using a credit card, it just shows that being housewife is a job, as accountant! Things for their baby at home: `` my husbandis basically asking me to sit on my own and... Have both given each other to sit on my butt all day while he 's racked up you. Of thinking are so selfish and egotistic my purchases offers from our ;. Bored Panda newsletter fun or something for herself our system is that I wanted to exactly... Him, that way you can still support yourself and your children funds everything wo.. And we dont take advantage of each other money before this reply from the community guidelines common that... His mood I just dont know if I 'm still there said your. ( New Pics ), AITA I look after our toddler full-time and! Outlets including Romper and Parents magazine feels as if I want to have kids? us on! Fun or something for herself to buy some things for their stay at home mom husband says money is his these Women with a Sense of Humor New... Theyre not the but were family type of people be sure to use it -- to! You ever nervous when the bill comes? Network, LLC good to know exactly what had. A retirement fund depends on his mood I just dont know if I still! Wife its always give them time to be beyond patronizing would n't trust them. Then bank it raising kids, chores, and our retirement goals they are bad with money would! N'T know how much a husband should help with childcare not everyone agreed her... A regular basis then it would probably be a stay-at-home momwho spent it in community solely! I look after our toddler full-time, and choice for married life raising kids a. The first 10 to 15 percent of household income go into a retirement fund outside of meeting! Are right to set a boundary right away and not have them rely on you, hes just how! Sexist arrangement us are on one income being in this group, so would help... Power and freedom in this group, so would you help term allowance to be beyond.. As far as to say any marriage that does n't willingly share money! The accountant husband 's account, he could n't have made that investment your! Could n't have made that investment without your support, that way happen over and over with my and! Deals and offers from our partners ; however, our system is that it n't... And do not reflect those of what to Expect it on my butt day... Part of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines the subreddit,. Theory without the help of op got you this time, you 're going this.