[background song in the video] And then I sent her this. They seemed fine, like, I dont know what it is. if you lookback at the first season. Its actually one of my first dance teachers and also the dance team coach. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. https://www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244. The same people who lovedme, overnight, just hated me. When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. Im not sure. Im gonna prescribe you pot and a pet.. Thank you. First one is from 1984 jazzercise class I took. Sorry about that. I heard he was coming to the party. The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. tWitch: (08:14) You know, you say: Im vegan. FOX Image Collection via Getty Images. -Ill get the asparagus. Sit down and eat and pay and leave, right? DeGeneres will send a producer or an audience member out into the . Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. Just Hows this gonna go? Does she still have the cats? But the fine dining. By the way, all right, listen to this joke. Negotiations breaking down And it had been the whole time. But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. We have the song like: Oh my God, thats my song. And if were at a club and that song comes on you wanna dance but you will not dance until you hit the designated dance floor. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. I dont know I am still gay by the way. People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. Happy birthday The Ellen DeGeneres Show features a recurring segment, called "Cash for Kindness," that spreads good cheer by lying to people. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. In November 2019,. You have nice feet. I dont know. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. I think we both hit our heads. Got your eye on any good medication you want to tell me about? I dont know if thats true. A RESTful API to access Revs workforce of fast, high quality transcriptionists and captioners. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. These are good, I like these. dear Ellen. Mazel tov. DeGeneres became my favorite comic within one hour of A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . In fact, Im downin this I mean, I dont know how many people have had a cap in the eye, but I have. Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. And youre watching them slowly creep up in your rearview mirror, and youre just: Please, change. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. We didnt have a six but we hada nine and a half. And [crowd laughs and claps] We try on everything that were gonnaput on our body except for socks, I realize. Build with the best speech-to-text APIs around. I graduated high school Im still lost I just was doing anything to pay rent and I shucked oysters, and I sold vacuumcleaners and I worked for a landscapingcompany I was a waiter, which by the way I thinkeveryone should wait tables at least oncein their life. Andy Lassner: (06:14) Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? But I didnt know what I was gonna do and my life changed when I was 21 yearsold and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident And I passed the accident., it had just happened. I love that phrase. Yeah. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. I am not gonna continue to do this the whole time.. Because it is when I realized how strong I was. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. Ellen Degeneres: (06:15) In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. That was I wish that was a joke, but its not. Not bad . Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. I mean everybody warned me. I dont deserve it, give it to thelady there. Ellen Degeneres: (06:05) And [crowd laughs] So I was excited by celebrities. And its not about the money. I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. As a film actress, DeGeneres starred in Mr. Wrong (1996), EDtv (1999), and The Love Letter (1999), and provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016); for Nemo, she was awarded the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first time an actress won a Saturn Award for a voice performance. I had to learn about it on the commercial. 0:00. Im sure you have it archived. Thats not important. I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething. Like everyone has a fear everyones scared of something. Ellen DeGeneres' most contentious interviews with showbiz stars have resurfaced after the US talk show host came under fire for her recent show with Mariah Carey, forcing her to reveal her. One, two a day. Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. "Hi Everyone, I want to let you all know . [crowd cheers] [claps], That was before I got my new voice. I had a successful sitcom. Yeah. The performance is in English, with no multiple language options included. That was a religion we were. But the job of graduation speaker is to give you some wisdom that I have acquired over the years, so thats what I am going to do. Andy, do you want to add anything? She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. I think they have been. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you . For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. I gotta get home to feed my cats. And She said: Oh, how many cats do you have? And I said: Three. And she goes: Oh, you area lesbian. [crowd claps] I said: I got news for you,thats not what makes you a lesbian, its Nuts Its other stuff. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. Does it work? In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published on Wednesday, Ms. DeGeneres denied that the workplace allegations had anything to do with her departure, saying she had long known 2022 would. This is my homework for my online Spanish. Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. For DeGeneres, who built her career on playing versions of "Ellen," by appearing, as a . Ellen DeGeneres' Celebrity Supporters and Detractors Which appeared to be news to Ellen. I had a great life. You buy a ladder when youre an adult. If youre graduating from college, Im so impressed. It was filmed at the Beacon Theatre on Broadway in New York City, New York on May 2, 2003. But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. No. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. The 62-year-old daytime talk show host returned to TV Monday after a summer plagued by a toxic-work-environment scandal. Ellen DeGeneres is going home, again. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. These are good. I have a lot of ladders I have a six-foot, I have an eight-foot I have the extension, the 20-foot aluminum. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. I mean, whenever youre closeted, youre always thinking about it. I was like [crowd laughs] I was on Aspirin a lot. Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. Jesus broke bread. Easily integrate Rev using our robust APIs to start building your product quickly. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. But no, first I want to talk about you and your beautiful wife, because now you're in a new campaign for. -Thank you. And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. I dont know, I just guessed. Thats good. They are. But that's exactly where she found herself in 1997 when she broke out of the professional closet she'd inhabited since becoming a standup comic. I was 10 years old. We should be on our own path. tWitch: (06:46) Actress Lea Thompson supported Garrett's claims by tweeting, "True story. And theyre still looking at me And Im like: I dont wanna looklike an idiot. So, I just filled up the back seat. And Ididnt know what I was gonna do. 4. There was this one station manager, and this is a quote: No ones gonna watch it. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. So, now, that particular look, the mullet,the outfit, everything is on the internet forever and ever andever. I was walking, hewas walking, he started running, I had tocatch up. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. I said: Well, they werent watchingme at night. Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. There are going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now. Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) Actually, you dont even have to be that smart, just dont tell people to drink bleach. -Thank you. "Very few stations wanted to buy the show, and here we are 20 years . See those leaders start to frown Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. I dont wanna stop you. Like, I mean Baryshnikov doesnt get askedto dance as much as I get asked to dance. Youll wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and youre like:Thats not that bad. Thats a simple little hole that you can just Your heel can be pokingthrough, its like a halter top foryour foot. I think it sounded like that. Her parents divorced when she was 16 years old. I dont know if its a real chicken or just a dance, but I appreciate the Funky Chicken. Beads in a big floppy hat. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. Web. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. [crowd claps] Yes, I turned 60 this year. No, deathly allergic. Yeah, I really do. DeGeneres' stand-up success led to her own sitcom, "Ellen," which aired from 1994-1998. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. Andy Lassner: (00:24) Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. [crowd laughs] Hm. In 2016, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Ill bring a gown in case theres a captain from a boat that I have to have dinner with. Itll put everything in perspective. On Wednesday, the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons the final episode will air May 26. I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. It was really, really special. Girl, who is you playin wit? You have no idea. In 2008, she married her longtime girlfriend Portia de Rossi. People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. And I thought: Oh my God, I am gonna godownstairs Im gonna write the most relatable special that anybody has ever seen. So after Lupita got me dressed and combedmy hair I just couldnt wait, I was just the whole way down the escalator, Im like, this is gonna be so good. 2. Does that cancel it out in any way or What if I had two cats, does that make mequestioning or am I not quite gay at that point? She took a chance on me. Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. Before I make a decision I wanna see how this is. And my dad told me to know the truthand I said: Well the truth is My bone is exposing its material-self to the material world. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. [claps] Portia and I took a picture and this guy photobombed us back there. I was told that today is Teacher Appreciation Day. "Ellen DeGeneres" Scripts.com. And I should know. There are a lot of children that it would impact a lot of kids would be helped by that, you know, and [crowd cheers and clap] Its not just actorsand actresses. Yeah. Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Yeah, we all have our little quirks. If you are graduating this year, first of all, I want to say congratulations. For the shoes to see themselves, cause youcant. [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. You were helping us for a minute there. I was vegan for 8 years and I really do believe that is great for you. We dont care. I will, yeah. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. NBC By John Koblin March 22, 2021 When Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. Why do you say the hand? That is definitely I lost my sitcom whenI came out and Its not like nobodywarned me. Birds it turns out, love music. Im gonna give you something for that. According to The Washington Post, DeGeneres "got choked up" about her talk show ending, and despite how you might feel about the host, the moment was pretty heartbreaking.Given that the conclusion of her show marks such a huge shift in her life, it makes sense as to why DeGeneres has been spotted looking . Thank you. Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) Thank you so much. Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. I had no idea I was in a cage. What time of day is good for a lesbian? So [claps] Yeah, and then I get on the air in the first season. But Im not [crowd laughs] Oh, look how happy you are. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. The next year she received two Emmy Award nominations for her stand-up comedy special Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now. Thats what Ive noticed. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. I pulled a muscle putting on a sports bra and Those are too tight, they are too tight. Ellen DeGeneres should have considered laying off the jokes. Start your free trial to watch Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. And its a jungle out there. The ladder is an adult purchase if you really think about it. Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) Something different gonna happen in here? I That could be right for you. And now, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start. I cant move right now. What do they like Walk around, opening [crowd laughs] I heard someone say that a junk drawer is a metaphor for your life. Ellen Degeneres: (02:17) Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up That was somebodys idea. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up A famously awkward interview clip of actress Dakota Johnson calling out TV host Ellen Degeneres resurfaced on Wednesday as fans joke that Johnson caused the show's demise. I went to a gas station to put gas in my car And theres a group of teenageboys across the way and theyre like really cool. Its your hand. My publicist,my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said: Dont do it. But, you know, my worst fears came true because you know, and thats why people stay closeted. No, but Ive dined in other places before. She started with an announcement to the four million viewers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show: "Goodbye to the resolution to read," she quipped, "and hello to the resolution to be on the front cover of O in '09!" Then the crusade intensified. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. Yeah, but I got one in the hand so -But theres two in the bush. I just started eating a piece of fish once in a while and Ill eat eggs from chickens that I know. Back that ass up If you look at the commercials that areon the air, most every commercial is forsome type of medicine, some kind of pill and I dont knowif youve noticed it the medicine commercials The side effectsare so long that the people on the commercial are running out of activities. Yes, Im enjoying it. Put that in perspective. DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. You know. Shes actually She is my friend and shehid that from me. And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . Ive decided, its the best. No, thank you. Update this biography Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. Hes a handsome boy. [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances Garrett, who appears to have since deleted the tweet in question, appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show six times between 2004 and 2007. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) What do you guys think, do you like them? Dont let anyone try and talk you out of them. It is." 06 of 10. They stabbed at it with their sword. Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. In Rwanda, so So we went to Rwanda for my birthday this summer to go see the mountain gorillas and see the the site where were building my campus, and it was unbelievable. Ellen's talent, personal warmth and insight have earned her recognition as a global entertainer and household name. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. I get out of the tub and Batu hadforgotten to put the towel next to thetub. Ill tell you. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. I got a TV from the gay lady. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Under Title 17 U.S.C. El libro esta en la biblioteca. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. Commencement: common, and cement, common cement. Now when you fly, its like I mean yourewalking down the aisle to your seat,which is you know 10B or whatever it is Its like Noahs Ark. Not from graduation, it was something else. Shouldnt be a problem. All rights reserved. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . Id say: Do you mind if I write it down and give it to you and then you take it in the kitchen? Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. I just danced as a joke. Transcripts & captions for a better media workflow. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. Its when I learned compassion. They So, now everybodys pretty cool with thefact Im gay. I journaled and I wrote poetry. But now Im countin this Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing.

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